Consuming Darkness
by LadyMiriamele
Summary: Kurama learns that he isnt Hiei's first lover. How will he react? And how will that reaction affect Hiei? -Yaoi, angst, dark, death
1. Part One

Title: Consuming Darkness (Part 1 of 2)

Author: Lady Miriamele

Warnings: Yaoi, angst, dark, death

C&C Welcomed :)

^Standard Disclaimers Apply^

The night was drawing to a close as the two lovers lay beside each other, still recuperating from the preceding activities. They laid there, the silence echoing off the walls. So much was said without use of words as Hiei gently stroked Kurama's scarlet tresses. He hummed softly, so soft that it could barely be heard. To him, his whole life was picking up. The pain of his past, all those horrible memories seemed eased whenever he was with his fox. Things were different now. He wasn't as afraid of emotion anymore as he used to be. Most of all, he had all he wanted. In one word, Hiei could describe how he felt: Happy. That was definitely something. A while back, he would have never guessed that he would admit to himself that he was happy. But he had changed. And Hiei knew it was because of his newfound love. Kurama. _His _fox.

That night, it was their first time making love. The past few weeks were wonderful. They had grown closer than they had ever been. Then, that night, it had happened. Kurama had made a wonderful meal and the evening had been delightful, which of course, had led to other things. Hiei smile secretly to himself as he reflected. Kurama had waited a long time before things had gotten really far. He knew that Kurama didn't want to scare him away. But looking at the fox, who was just getting his breath under control, Hiei knew Kurama didn't expect what Hiei had given in response.

"Hiei. . ." Kurama murmured, facing the fire demon. He seemed unsure of how to come across what he wanted to say. "That was wonderful."

"Hn," Hiei replied, hiding a small smile. He had wanted to give his fox the best, and from the look on Kurama's face, he had done a good job.

Kurama allowed a short pause. He seemed to be meditating on something important. Finally he asked, "Hiei, I'm not your first, am I?"

Suddenly, the mood was ruined. Hiei bolted upright. He certainly hadn't foreseen_ that_ question. "Why?" Hiei asked.

Kurama sat up as well, his eyes beholding many emotions. It was getting harder to read them. "Well, I just didn't expect you to be so experienced."

"And if you're not my first? Does it matter?" Anger was boiling in Hiei's veins. If Kurama loved him so much, why did he care about his past? It shouldn't matter. "You as a youko had many, many lovers and do you see me interrogating you?"

"I'm sorry Hiei." Kurama dropped his glance. "I'm just surprised. With the way you act all the time, I would have sworn that you were---"

"This is bothering you, isn't it?" Hiei interrupted, losing patience. "I can see it in your eyes. You're having a hard time accepting it." There was no way Hiei was going to sit and take this. Not after all of they had been through.

Kurama took a deep breath. "Hiei. . ."

"Forget it. I have to go." Hiei threw on his clothes and ran through the open window, cursing all the way.

_How could Kurama do this to me, _he thought dejectedly_._ _He told me he loved me. I fell in love with him. And now he's pulling this crap? What a selfish fox he is. . ._

~^*^~

Wind carrying whispers of the autumn morning danced around Kurama as he stared through the window. Though he wind was playful, Kurama couldn't pay it much heed. All night he had been awake, trying to sort his thoughts and his feelings. Trying to separate Youko Kurama and Shuichi.

He loved Hiei. Didn't he? He had thought so before last night, but once he had experienced what Hiei had to offer, everything had changed. He felt different. He couldn't even think of Hiei without getting wrapped up in indecision. It had been moronic of him to assume that he was the fire demon's first. That had left Kurama unprepared and now he was as confused as ever.

_What did I feel for Hiei before all of this?_ Kurama thought, closing his eyes. _Was it love? Or was I merely interested in exploring and teaching? _He sighed heavily._ My youko side has gotten the better of me. I got so wrapped up in the excitement of the new and untouched, that I pushed away all other emotions. Now I'm only left with one question._

Do I love Hiei?

Sighing, Kurama pushed himself away from the window and onto the bed. Everything was so complicated. Kurama and Shuichi, crossed paths. Because of Shuichi, Kurama could love and feel, rather than remaining heartless. Because of Kurama, Shuichi was intelligent beyond any human. He had hundreds of years of experience. Youko Kurama, in those years now gone, definitely would only have been interested in Hiei for the "newness" of his body, nothing more. But now Kurama had come to mix with Shuichi. There had to be more. . . Right?

Glancing at the clock, Kurama saw he would be late for school if he didn't get a move on it. He was ready and out of the door in a matter of minutes, his thoughts halted for the moment.

~^*^~

It wasn't that he had forgiven the fox already. It wasn't that he missed Kurama either. No, it wasn't even that he loved him. Actually, Hiei was following him just because he wanted the stupid youko to figure out what he was doing, so that Hiei could get on with his life. That was it. There was no other reason.

_Damn it!_ Hiei swore from the tree he was sitting in. It was no use trying to fool himself. _Kurama has me so soft that here I am, following him. Stupid fox! I'm already ready to forgive him. This is all his fault. I should just leave and forget him all together. I don't need him or his pathetic doubts._

But Hiei stayed and watched. Too many times, he had been burned. And too many times, he had been left alone, in pain and longing. Finally, he had found what he needed so bad. Love. Kurama's love. He didn't want to lose that. That dark hole inside him was getting brighter each day and he didn't want to be cast back into the darkness. He needed Kurama and he prayed that Kurama need him too, and was just confused.

Before his mind could register what he was doing, Hiei was on the ground, in front of the youko His tone was harsh and angry, but inside, he wanted to hold the fox and never let go. "Look, Kurama. I'm not going to play these games with you. Do you love me or not?"

"Hiei," Kurama breathed in what seemed relief. "Hiei, I'm so sorry for last night. It was wrong of me and---"

"That isn't my question," Hiei snarled. "I asked you if you love me."

Kurama lowered his head, so that his hair fell over his face, hiding the emotions there. "I—I don't know. I care for you, but---"

Something inside of Hiei seemed to break. _Don't say it, Kurama. Please don't. Kurama. . ._

"Hiei, I don't know what I feel for you."

That crashed upon Hiei harder than anything had ever done before. "Nani?" he demanded, his voice weak. This couldn't be happening. 

"I'm sorry Hiei."

A teargem slid off Hiei's cheek. It was over. "Goodbye, Kurama." Hiei sped away. Inside, he was breaking. That was it. Kurama didn't love him. Slowly, his world was retreating into the darkness once more.

~^*^~

Classes had never been as torturing as they were that day. Kurama could barely think, let alone pay attention. That was it. He had scared Hiei away for good. Worst of all, Kurama had come to realize that he had made a big mistake. He needed Hiei and he did not want to lose him.

Suddenly, his teacher's words snapped him from his thoughts. "We all come across paths in our lives where we have to make a choice. That's what the author is trying to explain in his poem**. We have to choose which path we want to take and it is that path that will affect the rest of our lives. We can never turn around to see what the other path would have led to. . ."

It seemed as if the world was set upon mocking him for his mistake. Was it too late? Did he choose his path? He needed to see Hiei again. He needed to find out.

Finally the bell rang and school was over. Kurama fled the building, doing his best to ignore anyone who wanted his attention. Hopefully, he'd be able to locate Hiei without a problem. He decided to go straight to Genkai's temple, where Hiei would probably be watching over Yukina. He ran to the gardens, where he found the fire demon's sister. "Yukina," he yelled, rushing. "Have you seen Hiei?"

The ice maiden smiled innocently. "Yes I did. He told me he was going to Makai for a while."

__

Oh crap, Kurama thought. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. See you later!" He didn't even wait for a response as he ran down the streets toward his home. Hiei couldn't be gone yet. He couldn't. Kurama ran into his house, didn't bother saying hello to his mother, and went straight to his room. He threw his books on the floor in frustration and was about to head to the window when something on his bed caught his attention. It was an old, worn rose, which looked as if it had been pressed in a book or something, so that it could be saved. On top of that was a dark teargem.

"No. . ." Kurama whispered, scooping up the two items. "No, Hiei! No!" It was evident that Hiei had left him for good. And with that thought, a realization washed upon Kurama.

He truly did love Hiei.

END Part One

**I was thinking about Robert Frost's poem, _The Road Not Taken_, when I wrote that teacher's speech.


	2. Part Two

Title: Consuming Darkness (Part 2 of 2)

Author: Lady Miriamele

Warnings: Yaoi, angst, dark, death

C&C Welcomed :)

^Standard Disclaimers Apply^

One Year Later

__

Death, pain, torment, depression, loss, fear, suffering, hatred, heartsick, wrathful, agony, angst, misery, woe, cringing, weeping, lamenting, dying. . .

Its amazing how much pain can change a person. Hiei mused about thoughts such as this as he sat in the dark hall of his new home. _My new home. That's a thought._ He laughed harshly as he polished his katana. Yes, pain could certainly change a person. And it was pain that had changed him over the last year. He had disappeared from the ningenkai and his so-called "friends". After that, he had transformed. . .

An evil grin spread its way across the Koorime's face. He was now very well known throughout the entire Makai as "The Shadow." No one knew who he really was. No one knew where he hid himself. All they knew was that they wanted to stay as far from him as possible. Hiei's grin widened as he reflected on everything that he had done to obtain his new position. Countless times, his sword had tasted blood of the innocent and he loved it. It gave him an adrenaline like no other. Let others feel the pain that he had to live with for once. Let them taste it.

After his failure with Kurama, Hiei had fallen into an abyss of utter and complete darkness. It was so cold and lonely. But he had pulled himself out. Now everything was different. "For better, or for worse?" Hiei mock-asked out loud. He licked his upper lip and was suddenly hungry. The fire demon set out to hunt down some pathetic creature so that he could have a wonderful meal.

****

Before he made it very far, though, an idea hit him with the force of lightening. "I wonder what our spirit detective _friends_ are doing. . ." He shivered with delight. That ought to be entertaining.

~^*^~

_Hiding. Hiding in the depths of my being. That's all I do. I hide myself. No one knows who I am. No one at all. There was once a person who did, but he is gone from me. I pushed him away because I got so wrapped up in my youko self that now, I have no one. No one at all._

"So basically, we have no idea what we are going up against," Yusuke's voice drew Kurama from his thoughts. "Only thing we know is that he is dangerous and that he requested to see us."

Kurama nodded and kept his eyes downcast. They were already close to where the youkai had requested to see them. He didn't really care. Everything was always the same. Go to school, do homework, go on missions, fight, sleep and eat. Everything was routine. Boring. 

"This is it," Kuwabara stated. The small group had come to a clearing in a forest. A dark mass of trees surrounded them and Kurama couldn't help but shudder. Something was wrong with that place. 

"Well where the hell is he?" Yusuke asked, grumbling. "We're on time."

"Once, Urameshi," an emotionless voice called, "You were smarter than that."

Three heads looked upward and gasped collectively. On top of them was a gigantic house, attached to all the surrounding trees.

"I'd like to welcome you all to my _home_," the voice continued, putting emphasis on the last word.

"Show yourself," Kuwabara commanded, spirit sword ready for attack.

"As you wish, ningen." A figure jumped down in front of the group and Kurama immediately knew who it was.

"Hiei?" he asked, disbelief written on all his features. 

"Hiei?!" Kuwabara repeated. "You mean the youkai we are going after is Hiei?" He gaped, unsure of what else to say.

Kurama just stared, his eyes wide. He didn't know what to think. Hiei was standing right before him and all he could do was stare. His mouth moved, but for some reason it wouldn't work. 

"That's right. Hiei, the Forbidden Child. Also known around here as The Shadow." He laughed. "Why, hello Kurama. Its been a while since you tore out my heart, hasn't it?"

"What?" Yusuke asked, looking at Kurama. "What's he talking about Kurama?"

Kurama ignored Yusuke's questions and kept his eyes on Hiei, as the fire demon spoke. "I do suppose you all have heard of me by now. I'm sure I have driven Koenma crazy with all the destruction I have been causing. That's right, Kurama, take a good look at what you have done." He moved forward a bit so that Kurama could see him clearly. 

"Poor fox," Hiei continuing, that nasty smirk on his face. "You look so surprised, so confused. Well, what are you confused about? You killed me, you foul youko bastard. You opened me and made me feel love and beauty. You made me see life through different eyes. And then you just cast me away. Why? Because, you were too selfish to handle the fact that I wasn't your first." Laughter erupted in the air. "You created me, the cold-blooded killer of the Makai. You created me, fox."

"That's it!" Kuwabara yelled from behind Kurama. He lunged forward with his sword, ready for attack. "You've killed too many innocents, Hiei!" As he went to strike, Hiei simply moved out of the way and impaled his katana into Kuwabara's chest.

"H-He stabbed Kuwabara. . ." Yusuke said in disbelief. He ran to his friend and checked for a pulse, for breath, for anything. "You killed him," he acknowledged outloud. "Kisama!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Blinded by fury, Yusuke shot his spirit gun in every direction, attempting to make sure Hiei went down. But once he was done, Hiei remained unharmed. 

"Fool," Hiei snarled. "I've learned a lot in the past year. Your petty attacks mean nothing to me."

Yusuke opened his mouth to retort, but rather than words, blood spurted down his lips. The attack was so fast that he hadn't even seen it coming. Stunned and in very much pain, Yusuke fell to the ground.

"Two down," Hiei shot a glance at Kurama. "Care to join them?"

Kurama stared at his two fallen companions. Both were still. Dead. He moved his gaze up to Hiei. "I don't want to attack you," he said with a shaky voice. It was true, he didn't want to hurt Hiei. He loved him too much. "But you killed them. . ." Kurama took out his rose whip. "I have to avenge them."

"Foolish human emotions. . ." Hiei mocked. "They'll be the death of you, you know." 

Hiei lunged, his eyes ablaze with madness. "This is for killing me!" he screamed, sending his blade right through Kurama's stomach. "May you---" He stopped in mid sentence once he looked down at the wound he caused. "Kurama?" he mouthed, dropping the sword. Kurama's rose whip was tightly wrapped Hiei's body, and blood was oozing out of various places. Hiei tried to break free, but the whip only dug deeper, causing pain to explode. 

Kurama finally let go of the whip, his hands unsteady. There was no way Hiei was going to survive. The way he was thrashing around was causing the whip to tighten and dig deeper into his skin. His very life was draining from his body. That was it. Hiei was as good as dead. Kurama had killed him. 

With that thought, Kurama fell to the ground, clutching his own wound. A minute passed and then he heard Hiei fall to the ground as well, a soft thump echoing in his mind.

"What have we done?" Kurama whispered. 

A teargem hit the cold, hard earth. "Kurama. . ." Hiei murmured, drowning in pain. He couldn't see. There was only darkness. He hated darkness. . .

Kurama did his best to crawl over to Hiei. Once he made it, he fell, exhausted. "Oh Hiei, I'm so sorry. . ." Tears were falling down Kurama's cheeks as well. He reached out and took Hiei's hand. "Its all over now. We killed. . .everyone. Even ourselves."

"Its all over. So we are all dead. Just like that." Hiei laughed at the thought, then started to cough, blood lining his mouth. "I love you Kurama. I'm sorry for everything. . .Everything. . ."

"Shhh, Hiei. . . Its all over now," Kurama closed his eyes., the tears still flowing. "Perhaps, in a next life we will get it right."

"I love you so much Kurama," Hiei whispered, his breathing fading. 

"I love you too Hiei. I always have."

That's all he needed to hear. Hiei's breathing stopped and he was gone. Kurama laid there, holding Hiei's lifeless hand until he too, faded away into the consuming darkness.

END Consuming Darkness

Notes: *Gasp!* Did I write that? *Blink* I killed ALL of them. . .*Faints* 


End file.
